I was fine when I was over 400 lbs.
I had a job that paid decently, I had my own office, car, and had a place to live.
I had friends and I went out sometimes but didn’t like crowds.
I felt I was living life the only way I could, and it was working.
I was, of course, completely delusional.
- My job? It sucked. The company was a clusterfuck and I wasn’t treated well.
- My apartment? Constantly messy. I paid people to clean it so I didn’t have to.
- My friends? I was an asshole to most of them because I was dealing with my own inner bullshit.
This is not uncommon for people when they get into a situation they’ve resigned themselves to. Instead of being upset that you aren’t living up to certain standards, you lower your standards until they fit your current position.
You don’t have to be obese for this to happen; people do this regularly, including addicts, those with welfare mindsets, and those who come from dysfunctional families.
Once you’ve lowered your standards, it’s incredibly difficult to get them back up again. You have to admit that you fucked up in lowering them in the first place (assuming you’ve ever had any; I’m not here to judge), then you have to raise them and then YOU have to put in the effort to meet your new standards.
You also have to be honest with yourself about how you perceive everybody around you as well. Chances are, you’ve built up some really stupid/shitty/bonkers comparisons to the lives of others that don’t hold up under a microscope. You have to admit that you aren’t where you think you were, so your comparisons will be pretty screwy.
The main focus needs to be on YOU and living up to YOUR standards. Do not compare your lives to others; you will either end up disliking them for doing better, or judge them for doing worse. This is a trap; how other people are doing is completely irrelevant to how YOU are doing. You live by your standards, not theirs. The quicker you see that, the quicker you can fix the problem.
Once you’ve raised your standards, they are YOUR standards to own; you can no longer blame others, the world, or some other force. You do not get to set your own goals and then blame others for your lack of success. That’s absolute bullshit and gets you nowhere.
So what’s the takeaway?
- You can improve your standards.
- By improving your standards, you improve your life.
- By setting your goals and achieving them, you improve your life.
- By being honest with yourself about where you’re at, you improve your life.
- Nobody can improve your life but you.